I have just finished Jan Arden’s book “Feeding my Mother.”
The struggle to be patient and kind, while looking after elderly parents with dementia, diabetes, congestive heart failure, arthritis and other milder ailments, well it is hard.
Jan seems to know my struggles, I can relate to losing my patience with my Mom and when I sit still and reflect, well it all boils down to fear, it is like being flattened by a boulder rolling down a mountain.
Time for reflection, the sits, my thoughts are powerful, the determine how my day will be, my sits will now be in the morning, so I can train my brain on how the future of that day will be, starting with gratefulness to have the opportunity and honor to look after my parents. A shift in perspective. The better version of me is emerging, I cannot cheat the gal in the glass out of the better version of me, I really don’t want heartache and tears, because I didn’t fully engage.
I am listening to the noise machine, the setting is the crashing of Hawaiian waves, I think of the question “What would the person I intend to be, do next.” The answer, she will engage like never before, and she will meet her future self in Kauai this June.